How about the beginning… again?

Between yearning to drive alone to leaving for the gym at 5am and questioning that business again, this year started out right to say the least. A lot to catch up on and a lot to be grateful for, the masterpiece is still in the making and the process is one to really love and learn from.

By this time, my blog is supposedly ‘dead’, I got a text from a friend this evening expressing how disappointed she was when she thought she’d see something new on the blog but got welcomed by the same old stuff. And that’s how it is, right? Most times we expect surprises, pleasant ones, but life serves us the same old plate and we have to just move on like nothing ever happened. For most of this life, I’ve been served like that, the surprises I get are usually unpleasant so this year I decided to flip the switch and pleasantly surprise myself and those I love.

I love my mom and sister. More than anyone else reading this. I owe my loyalty to them and my dad. So when the year started, I was accountable to them and created that accountability loop for all of us, just the way I think it should be. New year’s eve ended in a family meeting and 2023 began in prayer. That’s one surprise I pulled, heading the family. On valentines day, my two girls got gifts(sorry to my sister’s boyfriend for the pressure). Surprise! It had to be done. I’m learning and loving. I’m proud of that guy.

Yet again I look at myself and think of who I was yesterday and the days before. Sometimes I’m inspired by the people who do nothing, they inspire me to do everything, yet again I try and notice what tries to drag me. Before I wanted to get bigger, some people were comfortable with me, and everything around me. Now that I chase a goal so unorthodox, it feels like there is a eery atmosphere around them. They’re uncomfortable and scared of how good I might actually do for myself and that’s my biggest motivation. To be so good at what I’m doing that it challenges everyone who feels comfortable settling for mediocre. Thank you 12 January 2023 Tadiwa, what you signed up for changed you from then and hopefully forever.

The start is merely a line right now, it’s the process itself. Gym, long walks and a personal project that feels so close to my heart have been main priorities. When you get in flow, everything ties well, even the setbacks never make you settle on the back foot, you get yourself together and keep moving. If I talk about car suspension failures, burst tyres and floods at home, some might call me unfortunate. Is it really? Am I unfortunate for learning to create my own environments in a world where people are promised security so much so that anything uncomfortable makes them cry their eyes out? Am I unfortunate for learning how to deal with the pressures of living like a wealthy man before meeting the target? Am I unfortunate for taking risks bigger than my life and winning? I would deem myself very lucky, but then again it’s never luck, life drives beyond the ‘coincidence’ lane.

The final stretch of the beginning is everything we think we need but actually just want. It’s in everything we know revealing everything we don’t know. We know I’ve started writing again, we don’t know if I’ll continue. This piece of a somewhat “meaningful” contribution to this torn up world is probably setting the tone for more. Every second needs to be traded for some value. We all need to continue starting and consistently pursuing more. But, what does more actually look like?