Things are Out of Control

Of course they are. You’re not resting. The culture around ignoring burnout and ‘keeping going’ has eroded our minds of what it means to take deep breaths, to slow down and to zoom out. Sometimes the most productive days are the ones where we do absolutely nothing. Just like a working wrench, the more we work without realignment, the more we are probably going to not be suit for the job we are meant to do flawlessly, live. There’s a lot around doing whatever it is we need to do all day, every day. The world is in a rush to catch up with ‘the world’ yet the time we have is all the same. The spaces we occupy are all the same, no matter how ‘big’ we get. “But I’m improving and I see it every other time.” Yeah I know. I’ve seen it too, even if I don’t know you, but when was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and didn’t forget what you look like seconds after turning away? Focus is where the problem is, it is where it arises and similarly, where it can be solved. The constant rush makes us not feel, yet all we are created to do is feel more than anything else. That’s how we got to be where we are today anyway.

The mirror is very telling. It only depends on how long you look at it for. Some say if you look at it for too long you might go insane. Looking at it for an adequate amount of time results in gaining a good amount of knowledge regarding your physical self, sometimes even beyond. Yet we take it for nothing every single time. We use the cool ones for selfies when we’re at some fancy spot, and the ones we are used to will be lucky to catch a glance from us, simply because they are too regular. Your makeup routine is the same, you only use the mirror to assert that. Our hairstyles are the same, we only use the mirror to make sure we don’t look crusty before leaving the house. The mirror helps us fix our ties but barely does it ever help us notice the missing stitches on our shirts or the minor pimple developing on our lower lip. Only other people will notice that, and tell us what we should’ve seen, only if we looked in the mirror deep enough. Only if we paid attention. Then maybe the regular mirror would become an extraordinary part of our routine. Helping us perfect the usual, making the best of ourselves even better and keeping us in check when we need to replace that old tie we have favored over others that would suit our new sense of fashion better.

The mirror is a break from the hassle of everyday. It is where we can go absolutely crazy or perfect that which needs to be perfected well enough to a degree that makes us seem flawless to the world. It is not the place where we want to be first thing in the day, but having it in the first and last parts of our day would not make harm to us, it would make everything so much better. The mirror is our unfiltered identity. Every other material somehow tries to ‘mirror’ us but nothing compares to a true mirror, that’s why it has the name and any other reflective surface only inherits the mirroring verb.

Why is a mirror a resting place? Why am I bringing it up now, and most importantly, what does it have to do with you? I have already told you to go look in the mirror. That should be enough. Not quite, this here is meant to be your mirror, thank you for taking the break and resting here. Now, here’s a look at some mirrors, some types of identities and where your mirrors exist and why you should take absolute care when looking into them and observing the truth of being you. Why should you rest?

1. The identity mirror

Who are you? Might be a lot of ways to answer this in reality, but truth is, the labyrinth of identities that comes when you think of your being are all mirrors. They need stops from you, regular, intentional breaks that remind you of who you are and who you aren’t anymore. Take an intentional stop at your religious gathering and figure out how you have fallen of from it, or relinquish the love that made you identify with that religion anyway. Take time off from ‘diversity’, that one identity is what makes you an interesting figure among others who identify differently. A sportsman? Or just a social player? Doesn’t matter, go back to that sport and feel how good it makes you feel again. Figure out your accomplishments, take note of what you need to improve on and take a deep dive back into what made you love that particular sport. Are there relationships that need fixing and only this sport can solve it? Take initiative and take a look in the mirror with others, maybe they will be able to identify something you might’ve been missing. Maybe the mirror you need is that lunch or dinner with all your friends just so you can be inducted back into a society through love and you can finally see how much solitude has taken away from you and what it truly means to be a part of a tribe. Maybe, that tribe is not of any use to you anymore and you needed that one last meeting as the final goodbye to who used to be so you can finally move on. You can only cook what’s in the fridge. Make sure you stock up well and restock responsibly. Ration your cooking so nothing goes bad on your watch.

2. The pocket mirror

It’s not you vs. the world but you vs. you must be one of the most important motivational statements of this generation. While this is something I subscribe to and somewhat believe in, it raises some new idea where I question how much we are willing to consult ourselves before we move on to make new moves or advance our growth. The best thing about a pocket mirror is, you can pull it out any time. It is like a genie, always ready to serve you no matter where you are. It is a faithful servant and only you can direct where you want it to face, what you want it to see. Your delusions, honesty and transparency are what makes it a good or a bad mirror. Are you a good master? Are your reflections true and are you a good friend and counselor to yourself? The pocket mirror gives you a job, your existence, it lets you shape and correct it whenever you want and however you want to. When you take a deep breath and decide to not be angry at an antagoniser, you make good use of your pocket mirror, because you let yourself tell yourself you are not built for that. Sometimes, we let others peep into our pocket mirrors. We testify to have ditched some old habits so as to get social approval. We keep the secrets hidden in our purses and our pocket mirror knows this, it reflects these objects when you put it back in you purse. The efforts we make for an appearance are futile, the mirror knows, the mirror shows. You vs. You. How are you using the mirror, even when you let others peep into it? The pocket mirror will face you again, how are you going to face it with your current lifestyle and choices?

3. The always-moving mirror. (Far from home)

Our breaks, small walks to recuperate ourselves, and the long holidays and retreats we take when life gets overwhelming are all moving mirrors. They give us the essence of looking back at ourselves and provide an escape to stresses of life yet they don’t always stay with us. We need to treat ourselves to some time outside our little matrices. The huge and small mirrors in the small recreational activities we take intentionally provides the basis to great mirrors, showing us the smallest zits that we might miss when we quickly observe ourselves after a morning shower. Truth is, a lot of thing appear permanent in this world. Make time for the temporary, this world makes everything seem so permanent after all, including our struggles. Even in old places, take time to experience something new. Take time to find new joy in old activities, new love in old relationships and new trees in old forests. Truth is, we all don’t know what we are doing. Our identity mirrors are not one thing, they are everything. They are our disco balls. We can equip them with worthwhile pieces, only if we have time to look at other mirrors and only when we hold ourselves to greater standards.

Of course things are out of control, you need to grab a mirror, if you don’t have one, find it already and take a good look at it. Don’t like the zoom? Get another one and take some time to yourself, you need that mirror and the mirror needs you.